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Joke of the Day

"I swallowed a Ice Cube and I haven't pooped it out yet, I'm really scared you guys."

"Why shouldn't you burn scented candles inside of a Buddhist shrine? Because doing so would be incense-itive!"

"A pig walks ito a bar ot aother bar joke. Just my fuckig ' ' key is't workig."

"A friend that steals your tortilla chips is nacho friend."

"I love drowning... It just takes my breath away."

"*BUSTS DOWN DOOR* *Fires off jokes* *Kidnappers helpless in laughter* ""..and that's how your granpappy saved baby Jesus."" - Me, someday"

"""Ben Carson makes stuff up"" said Donald Trump, self-proclaimed zillionaire, demigod and unicorn owner."

"When I see an ugly guy buying condoms, I restore my faith in myself by thinking that he bought them only because balloons weren't available"

"12yo son forgot his electric toothbrush -- so now he has to MOVE HIS ARM to brush his teeth. His protest was legendary."

"I own a gossipy parrot... which really says a lot about me."