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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver..."

"Now that Benedict XVI is out of work... ...like all good celebs, he's releasing a fragrance. Expect to see Popepourri on the shelves this summer."

"I see from the Before and After pictures that not only did she lose weight using the product, it also gave her a tan, makeup, and a smile."

"[meeting her parents] GF (whispering): Please don't make a scene ME (angry-whispering): You told me there'd be cheese"

"Your secrets are safe with me because I literally won't remember them. This also applies to your birthday. Your birthdays are safe with me."

"It's orange, it says it's an orange, but it's not an orange. What is it? A tangerine with a big mouth."

"Q.What do you get when you cross a Fire Chief two Lotus Notes Gurus ? A. FireWeb .... of course!"

"How do you kill a troll? Take away its internet access."

"This drunk guy in the mirror thinks he can beat me in a dance off but I totally embarrassed him in front of the whole women's bathroom."

"How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date!"