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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between a lesbian and a wheat-thin? Ones a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker."

"What did the Math book say to the pencil? I see your point; I've got a lot of problems."

"What's the worst part about shaking a one-armed man? You know that's his masturbating hand"

"I could add boolean operators to my search... OR NOT"

"To this day, no song pumps me up as much as the theme from 'Bill Nye the Science Guy.'"

"What's the only difference between a prostitute and a bowling ball? I can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball"

"So, when I wear my phone clipped to my belt & a fanny pack, I'm a douche.nnBatman does it & it's a bad-ass utility belt. nnnDouble standard."

"Googled 'how to start a fire' got 10000 matches"

"I don't know why people are upset about the Florida night club incident. I would love to get free shots at my local bar!"

"If a shark attacks you, punch him in the nose. And if that doesn't work, use your severed arm to tickle his belly."