179024

Joke of the Day

"How do you kill 15 flies at once? Slap an African child in the face."

"It's not you.. It's me. And my inability to tolerate you any longer."

"So I just got back from a trip in Germany, and I realized how awful American children are. While they may be nice and all where I live in NYC, kids in Germany are kinder."

"Did you know that 10% of what Trump says is actually true? Neither does he."

"My 5 year old set up the lemonade stand all by himself and, while I'm proud of him, I doubt he'll make a lot of sales in the backyard."

"Please don't feed the Kardashians."

"Girl Scouts sell more than just Cookies. I know, it sounds crazy, but it's just nuts."

"Then God said, come fourth john, for you will have eternal life... But john came Fifth and won a free toaster"

"you met the short guy who came out of the cupboard? that was a low blow"

"When my doctor diagnosed me with surrealism I didn't know what to candle wax forest upside down volcano coffin."