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Joke of the Day

"Watch out for black ice I rode a bike over some black ice. I slipped and fell off, and when I looked up, my bike was gone."

"What do you get when toss a hand grenade into a French kitchen? Linoleum blownapart."

"Facebook: You have more friends on Facebook than you think. Me: You have higher expectations than you think."

"My mother never attempted to wean me off of breast feeding. Just cut me off entirely one day... ...as if that first year of college wasn't difficult enough."

"how to get into shape: 1. punch a bear 2. run. this is your life now"

"What is the difference between michael jackson,and neil armstrong... neil armstrong was the first man to walk on the MOON,and michael jackson likes to fuck little boys in the ass."

"How I pissed off my girlfriend during sex. I called her."

"Did you hear about the new strain of bird flu? Chirpees... a canarial disease... un-tweetable."

"What would you get if you crossed a chicken with a dog? A hen that lays pooched eggs."

"Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? He had locomotives."