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Joke of the Day

"Why'd the kid drop his ice cream cone? Because he got hit by the bus."

"Don't drink and drive, also don't call frozen yogurt ""fro yo."""

"Cashier: Aww, you grocery shop so your wife doesn't have to? [flashback to me losing paper, rock, scissors] Me: Yeah, I'm sweet like that."

"A young blonde, leaving home for a one week visit to New York, was told by her mother to put on clean socks every day. By the end of the week she couldn't get her shoes on."

"What's a thimble? By definithion, thomething that represenths or thtands for thomething elth. Thymbolithm, y'know."

"Forget waterboarding... I'm ready to tell this damn popcorn kernel stuck in my tooth everything it wants to know."

"Ned: Boy! Was I ever in hot water last night ! Ed: You were? What did you do ? Ned: I took a bath !"

"Q: How did the chewing gum cross the road? A: By sticking to the chicken's foot."

"If George Raft's wife gave birth to twin Gorillas would they be the Apes of Raft?"

"The main problem with gay marriage is when two men hold the knife to cut the cake they will be too strong and cut through the plate & table."