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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like I like my spaghetti sauce... Prego"

"Follow your instincts, into the path of a moving train."

"""I know exactly how you feel."" *staring at a deflated giant inflatable snowman"

"What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot, you racist..."

"The weirder Rihanna's tattoos get the less I blame Chris Brown."

"I licked 8 lollipops and sealed them in ziplocs during my stomach flu if anyone needs to lose 5lbs by the weekend."

"What's the shortest organ in a goat? An ISIS member!"

"I employed a new gardener and gave him a list of tasks to do, when I returned he had only done tasks 1,3,5 and 7 on the list. Turns out he's an odd job man."

"A sheep, a drum and a snake fall off a cliff. Baa-dum-Tsss."

"Hate when I lay out too close to the shoreline and the other beach goers team up to try to push me back in the water."