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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear the one about the batman midnight showing? I heard that people were really Fired up about it! too spoon?"

"Don't forget to put everybody before her so she has no clue whether you really give a shit or not"

"Being a feminist is like practicing extreme sports Not taking good care of yourself and then bragging about how brave you are."

"My third bottle of wine was able to ""breathe"" for a few hours when I opened it at 3am and passed out on the floor."

"What do you call a person who teaches you how to fart? A tutor."

"You know if you stab a salad 23 times It becomes a chopped salad"

"Michelle Obama had an awesome speech tonight... I wonder how long we'll have to wait for Malinia Trump to steal it. The part about her black daughters will be awkward."

"A guy walks into a heavy metal bar. ouch."

"What do you call two rows of cabbages ? A dual cabbageway !"

"Horses are very contrarian... No matter what you ask them, all they say is ""neigh."""