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Joke of the Day

"They say never go food shopping when you're hungry ... haven't ""they"" heard that ""seven days without food makes one weak?"""

"Asked the librarian for a book on the female G Spot. He couldn't find it."

"Why did the homeless women keep flies in a plastic bottle? That was her vibrator."

"What do you call an ant who can't play the piano ? Discordant !"

"Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead."

"Halloween = Candy, Thanksgiving = Food, Christmas = Gifts, New Years = Drinks, Valentines = Sex, Birthdays = ALL OF THE ABOVE"

"I could never be a politician because every time it was my turn to talk in a debate, it would start off with ""Listen you f*cking prick."""

"Call me old fashioned, but I'm dying of smallpox."

"My girlfriend's dad asked me how hard it is being a philosopher. It's quite easy to love your daughter."

"Knuckle Tattoo Idea: * L I V I N G T O O C L O S E T O N U C L E A R W A S T E H A S D I S F I G U R E D M Y B O D Y K I L L M E *"