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Joke of the Day

"They say never go food shopping when you're hungry ... haven't ""they"" heard that ""seven days without food makes one weak?"""

"What did the creepy scientist say to his new creepy wife? Let's grow MOLD together!"

"YOU KNOW WHAT MAYBE I DO WAN'T TO MEET HOT SINGLES IN MY AREA"

"Past, present and future walk into a bar... It was tense"

"What did the bell say when it fell in the water? I'm wringing wet."

"Look, boss, all I said was, ""I bet my raise is as big as your dick."" Whether that's an insult or not is entirely up to you."

"Kanye running for president."

"[Best man speech] I HAVE DEFEATED THE OTHER MEN IN THIS WEDDING PARTY TO EMERGE AS THE BEST, THE MICROPHONE SHALL BE MINE FOOLISH MORTALS!"

"I won't believe corporations are people Until Texas executes one."

"I want to be featured on the news and the caption below me to read *unintelligible screaming*."