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Joke of the Day

"Wife opening mail to spouse: ""The bank says that this is our last notice. Isn't it wonderful that they're not going to bother us anymore?'"

"The Commandments 1) def don't kill 2) no stealing, obvs 3) don't say my name? idk 4) luv ur neighbs! 5) but don't LOVE-love them, that's bad"

"What do you get if you cross a skunk and a balloon? A creature that stinks to high heaven!"

"What do you call a camel without humps? Humphrey."

"What would romantic living dead movie be called? Zombaes"

"[mob about to stone a sinner] JESUS: Stop! Let he who is without sin throw the first stone. [mob drops rocks] JESUS: [picks up rock]"

"Did you hear how Jared Fogel lost his first 40 pounds? He dumped his girlfriend."

"in the cha cha slide he goes ""NOW its time to get funky!"" halfway through the song like i wasn't getting funky already?"

"My fiancee asked me why I always back into parking spots... I told her ""guys typically want to just pull out"". She was not amused."

"How many golfers does it take to change a light bulb? FORE!"