178618

Joke of the Day

"A man comes home from work and says to his wife, ""Honey, I'm thinking about ordering a strap-on dildo from Amazon..."" ""What do you think? Is that something you could get behind?"""

"I just bought some 300 noise cancelling headphones for my wife. But i can still hear her."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom? Because it had a silent pee."

"What award was given to the best knock-knock joke winner? The No-Bell prize."

"How are marriage and commiting suicide the same? You are really good at it if you have only had to do it once. Edit: Joke idea taken from a /r/showerthoughts post."

"Why did Goku cross the road? Find out next time on Dragonball Z!"

"We are the people our parents warned us about."

"The taco shop gave me napkins, don't they know I'm a professional burrito eater? That's like giving condoms to a porn star."

"How many white girls does it take to change a lightbulb? Well, it has to be an odd number, because they literally cannot even."

"What is Scooby Doo's favorite program language? Ruby Ruby Roo!"