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Joke of the Day

"Animals can sense disasters before they happen. That's why the neighbors dog barks whenever I make a move on a girl."

"""I don't mean to tell you how to do your job, but..."" People who are found buried in the woods"

"Instead of walking faster when someone holds a door open for me, I slow down to test their door holding resolve."

"Anybody taking bath in Milk.. ""Why do you take baths in milk?"" ""I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower."""

"and now for my next trick, i will saw a women in half. for this i need a volunteer. how about...MY EX WIFE SANDRA WOW I DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE"

"Food products made from real ingredients, unlike margarine, are whey butter."

"My friend has a job coming up with bathroom humor He just writes a lot of shitty puns."

"I feel like a text is too serious without an ""lol"" or ""haha"" in there somewhere."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter. He won't come anyway."

"I work out at the same time every day... tomorrow."