108708

Joke of the Day

"Hey [STOP] Got your voicemail earlier [STOP] I'm replying with a telegram because you're apparently a big fan of outdated technology [STOP]"

"What would a character from the Star Wars universe shout before a suicide bombing? ADMIRAL ACKBAR!"

"What do you call someone who sells their butthole for sex? Prostatute"

"Q: What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on him? A: Nothing. He just let out a little wine."

"What is the opposite of Christopher Reeve? (Sorry if you've heard this) Christopher Walken"

"Someone die? Time to get high! Come on down to Barry's Death Emporium where we put the FUN in funeral and the RAVE in grave! (BYO shovel)"

"what picture is guaranteed to make the front page of Reddit? Bernie Sanders sitting on a mildly interesting toilet while playing fallout 4"

"Every Taylor Swift song sounds like it was written in gel pen."

"A PROBLEMIC POLEMIC Q: Why did the woman cross the road? A: Who knows why the heck they do anything?"

"I have to start remembering my passwords, I have renamed the dog so many times he just looks at me with disgust now."