178426

Joke of the Day

"Meant to text a girl ""Wanna hang?"" Wrote ""Wanna gang?"" She wrote ""Sure."" I've got some serious decisions to make."

"What's a Jew's favorite classic rock song? Money - Pink Floyd"

"What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination? HAND-EYEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Why is Abraham Lincoln on the Penny? Because it makes cents (sense)."

"A porn star comes running up to a laundromat just as it's closing, offering to trade sex so she can wash her clothes. [nsfw] She just wanted to get one more load in."

"What genius named it a ""news feed"" on Facebook and not ""bullshit""?!"

"Chuck Norris doesn't believe in ravioli. He stuffs a live turtle with beef and smothers it in pig's blood."

"Waiting to see who sits next to you on a plane feels like the opposite of winning the lottery."

"What is the worst thing about locking your keys in your car outside an abortion clinic? Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger."

"Did you hear what happened to the guy whose left arm and left leg got chopped off? He's dead."