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Joke of the Day

"What do u call a stereotypical Vietnamese commie He is so-viet"

"Carl: ""It's chilly out."" Me: ""Tell me something I don't know."" ""Two dogs were hanged during the Salem witch trials."" ""Fair enough, Carl."""

"[girlfriend talking to me but I can't hear her over crunch of my cereal] ""I think we should see other people"" Yeah sure thing, babe"

"Judging by how many people brazenly wander into traffic while staring at their phone, there must be some force-field app I don't know about."

"A selfie stick is very useful..... .. as a prod to keep people out of your personal space."

"So a local photographer started seeing a chemist from out of town... I heard their relationship was developing quite nicely."

"(commercial for drugs) Man: Nothing is working out in my life VO: Have you tried drugs? Man: (startled) Who said that Narrator: ""Drugs"""

"If a psychic goes to the bathroom in the forest, does he make a sound? No, because the ""p"" is silent."

"What did the duck say to the hooker? Put it on my bill."

"How do you know a guitarist is sad? They start to fret."