178390

Joke of the Day

"My surgeon says I'm the easiest patient to work on. Because I'm gutless, spineless, and my brain and colon are interchangeable."

"Yo girl, are you a zero APR loan? Because I don't really understand your terms and you keep saying you have no interest."

"Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher? He couldn't control his pupils!"

"Detective: Did your husband have any enemies, ma'am? Wife: Well, the cat next door never really liked Jim, and that always seemed a bit odd."

"What did one repost say to another? Well the flag is a big plus! &#3232;_&#3232;"

"Jimmy Kimmel and the Fine Brothers working together [NSFW] Pornhub acquires Twitch"

"Did you hear about the people who were sick in June from eating bacon past its use by date? It was mayhem."

"She buys me a lot of shitty music these days. ""Reminds me of your old stuff,"" she says. So maybe I get her a gift subscription to Playboy."

"""What do you call someone who makes cakes in San Francisco? A BAYYYYker"

"ME: Wow I have to print this document right now PRINTER: Like, right right now?"