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Joke of the Day

"I was thinking of making sperm-brand merchandise... ...because sex cells"

"A man goes to the zoo and the only animal in the zoo is a dog. It was a shih tzu."

"My girlfriend is sick of me pretending that I'm a transformer. Girlfriend: ""I'm sick of you pretending you're a transformer. I'm leaving you."" Me: ""No baby wait, I can change..."""

"How are women and linoleum floors alike? You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years."

"Why don't chickens like people ? They beat eggs !"

"Did someone say ""purple""? Sorry, it must have been a pigment of my imagination!"

"I wanted a painting that wouldn't get boring so I painted a mirror."

"I was taken by aliens! I couldn't get away, I don't speak Spanish!"

"Comic Sans walks into a bar. Barman says ""sorry we don't serve your type in here"""

"The trick to a good AVI is finding your best characteristic and flaunting it. I obviously am a fan of my nostrils."