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Joke of the Day

"Boy in the hospital, dying of cancer and grandma misplaces her glasses at the store and buys the first card she finds ""Get Good Soon"" [8]"

"Stole a cart from this woman at Walmart today. I like to think of it as playing grand theft auto suburbs edition."

"How many hours A guys asked he's wife ""how many hours will it take me to get to 80 miles going 80mph"" the wife looks at him confused and answers ""80 hours"""

"To find a prince, you're supposed to kiss a frog. Not screw the whole pond..."

"difference between laugh and sex Teacher: what's the opposite of laughing? Kid: Sex Teacher: How dare you! And why is that? Kid: Because, laughing haha and sex is ahah"

"Q: What does a 75-year-old woman have between her breasts that a 25-year-old doesn't? A: Her navel."

"Doctor: this might hurt a little bit Me: okay Doctor: i like you, but only as a friend"

"Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle? A. Wheeeee!!!!!"

"Date: Do u have any allergies? Me: I'm allergic to raisins. They make me cry D: That's an unusual reaction M: They could've been wine!!"

"I'm gonna start giving bad news to people in that cute, high pitched voice I use to talk to kids and dogs."