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Joke of the Day

"Doctor: this might hurt a little bit Me: okay Doctor: i like you, but only as a friend"

"Not to brag, but I have the high score on 7 different blood pressure machines around the city. *enters initials"

"What happens when you combine bleach and a girl dog? You get a basic bitch"

"What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad."

"I love Christmas lights! ... they remind me of politicians. They all hang together, half the buggers don't work, and the ones that do aren't that bright!"

"Why didnt the asian block a punch coming to his face? He couldn't see it coming"

"What happened to the Oklahoma Territories? I don't know but they're OK now."

"I went camping with a bunch of supermodels once. It was pretty in tents."

"What did the father Buffalo say to his son as he left for school? Bison"

"I can give out my number and I bet 8152898509 dollars my phone will still be dry."