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Joke of the Day

"I hang out with people smarter than me so when the zombies attack they will eat their brains first while I escape. Who's the idiot now Mom!?"

"What did the comedy coach tell his worst student after his practice? ""Are you making a Mochrie out of improv?"""

"If you're in a relationship. I don't know why you feel the need to upload 10 selfies a day. Look at your boyfriend instead of a camera . You attention seeking hoe"

"What do you call two homeless people hitting each other with pieces of cardboard? A pillow fight"

"I've been writing a joke about the whites, blacks and asians... But it's a bit racey."

"Why can't a bike stand on it's own? Because it is two tired."

"Why are children never the main characters in horror movies? Instead of gawking at the killer waiting to see what will they do with the bloody axe, kids will do the smart thing: Run."

"What does a Polish bride get on her wedding night that's long and hard? A new last name!"

"[gun goes off] [every runner pretends to be wounded, then laughs and starts the race] ANNOUNCER: and the annual Dad 5k is underway"

"What does your mom and a 4-stroke engine have in common? They're both usually busy doing one of the following: sucking, squeezing, banging, blowing."