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Joke of the Day

"""I'm sorry"" and ""I apologise"" usually mean the same thing ...except at a funeral"

"Fucking cows... ...wouldn't recommend it."

"I can only handle so much of a screaming kid on a long car ride before I pull over, take them off the roof, and let them back in."

"What's Jon Snow's favorite children's book? Where The Wildlings Are"

"What do you call a black guy in a museum? Antique farm equipment"

"I was watching the WWE wrestling with my son today... ...when I finally snapped at the whole charade and blatant fakeness of it all. It's about time he was told he's adopted."

"Gay pride parade? Why isn't there a straight pride parade? They tried that but people kept on thinking it was the checkout line at Home Depot."

"In all US bars you can now order an Osama Bin Laden... two shots and a splash of water"

"I was at the gym and noticed a hole on my Trainer that I could fit my finger in He filed a formal complaint and I'm banned for life.."

"I have a life pro tip I never wear condoms"