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Joke of the Day

"A college in Boston is offering a major in comedy... One student commented, ""I think I have a future in this. Every time I tell someone what I'm studying, they laugh."""

"I found out when my birthday was and now I can never have a surprise party."

"What is the difference between a human dad and a moth dad? Two letters."

"If this evening got any more bland and disappointing it would be a menu item at Applebee's."

"People keep telling me I'm beautiful. What vivid imaginations some people have."

"How many Freudian psychologists does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2: One to screw in the bulb, and one to hold the penis... LADDER, I MEAN LADDER!"

"How much for the horse tornado? Sir, that's a carousel. I must have it."

"How did the police determine which turtle ate the diamond ring? They conducted an in-turtle investigation."

"Yo dawg...pass me my 9mm I didn't realize these bolts were metric"

"Hi, what can I get for 25 cents? You can get the fuck out."