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Joke of the Day

"Father's day is coming up in the UK... ...I better go find one"

"What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM A blonde going through a flashing red light. No offense to blondes lol"

"What do you call a stupid, ugly, fat cow that gives birth to idiots that don't know when their own mother is being insulted? Your mom."

"My wife is always like, ""You answer the door, I don't even have my bra on!"" and for that reason, I have stopped wearing a bra."

"me: damnit, i forgot to get my bus fare reimbursed this month sally: go see gary in HR, he's pretty flexible [walks in on gary doing yoga]"

"Four facts about women that prove they can do miracles. 1. They can get wet without taking a shower. 2. Bleed without being hurt. 3. Producing milk without eating grass. 4. Making boneless meat hard."

"My wife didn't finish her Morse code lessons before going sailing. She seems to alright though she keeps sending me messages to send her an SMS but I haven't got a reply yet."

"Two snowmen are standing in a field. One leans over to the other and asks ""you smell carrots?"""

"What is the most popular candy in Rwanda? Tutsi roll"

"My wife and I decided not to have children. The kids are taking it pretty hard."