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Joke of the Day

"Money doesn't buy happiness? Well it buys a jet ski. Have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski? It's impossible to be sad on a jet ski."

"This Brazil v. Germany World Cup Game."

"Torrential rainfall? Rising floodwaters?! No escape?!! Don't worry... I Noah guy."

"A grasshopper walks into a bar... A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""hey, I got a drink named after you!"" The grasshopper says, ""hey you got a drink named Steve?!"""

"I have the Emergency Alert Warning sound set as the ringtone for when my wife calls."

"Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he got married? A. Ruth-less."

"Why did the man throw his watch out the window? He wanted to see time fly!"

"Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson? He thought he would give him a paunch!"

"Wife: Where are you going? Me: I'm wearing my robe and boxer briefs so obviously I'm off to fight crime"

"So a crossfitter, an atheist, and a vegan all walk into a bar. How do I know? Because they told everyone in the place within 30 seconds."