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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a feminist studies major and a pizza? The pizza can feed a family of four."

"I asked my wife.. ""what would you do if I won the lottery?"" She replied, "" I would take half and leave you."" I said, ""good I won $12. Here's $6, now fuck off."""

"One does not simply talk to their pet in a normal voice....no they don't, oh no they don't."

"I just saw my parents having sex Damn you Pornhub"

"The iPhone 6S+ has been doing really well so far... It seems to be a huge 6S"

"I asked my dad if I was adopted... He said, ""No, but not from lack of trying."""

"What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing, they're both stuck up cunts."

"Wiping with only one square of toilet paper is a meditative experience.... You really get in touch with your inner self."

"What's the most positive thing in Harlem? HIV."

"I asked my dad what our IP Address was... He just pointed at the toilet."