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Joke of the Day

"My random thoughts Hmm I usually don't laugh out loud. But I have tried multiple times to laugh my fucking ass off. But it never falls off! :("

"So a seal Walks into a club.. *Rim shot*"

"My girlfriend wants a chest freezer for Christmas... I said ""Why? It's cold as tits outside already!"""

"If someone calls me a sir one more time I will literally wear a top hat and a monocle and roll my eyes so hard you will not survive."

"If you cool your body down to -273,16 degrees celsius.. ..you'd be 0K"

"I'm really worried what will happen if Donald Trump runs as a third party candidate. I'm afraid there will be hell toupee."

"They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but 2 minutes and 15 seconds once every 3 months ain't going to shift your beer belly is it."

"A ""ramification"" sounds a lot more fun than it actually is."

"Where do blind sparrows go for treatment ? The Birds Eye counter !"

"Why do divers fall backwards from boats? Because if they fell forward they'd still be in it!"