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Joke of the Day

"Q: How many Mafia hitmen does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Three. One to screw it in one to watch and one to shoot the witness."

"DATE: you smell so nice - what are you wearing? ME: Febreeze"

"I told a joke to a bunch of guys. They laughed. Now I'm going to prison. For manslaughter."

"I was in the pharmacy today... A man approached me offering either a blue pill or a red pill. I didn't know staying in false reality gave you a 24 hour erection."

"The chef at my local Chinese restaurant had a nasty fall at work, and was so badly injured he had to give up his job. He'll never wok again."

"""I can't wait to bore my friends with this."" Dude filming concert on his phone."

"Why is it so difficult to call Chinese people? There's so many wings it's easy to wing the wong number."

"So one sperms says to the other sperm.. NSFW ""How long til we get to the ovaries?"" . The other sperm replies, ""hopefully soon, we just passed the tonsils"""

"Why do gorillas have such big nostrils? because their fingers are so big."

"There are 10 types of people in the world... those who understand binary and those who don't."