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Joke of the Day

"Why can't a bicycle stand on it's own? **Because it's two tired.**"

"Emperor: How are my elite troops doing on Endor? Vader: They were all viciously murdered by teddy bears. Emperor: That sounds plausible."

"Text from niece: I'm board! M: Perhaps you could work on your spelling. N: Wat?"

"Yo momma so fat, ...she can't even be emotionally carried away."

"Whats the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea ? I've never paid to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"Parents who are afraid that giving teenagers condoms will just ensure they have sex to use them have obviously never owned a bread maker."

"What did the silly boy take his bicycle to bed with him? Because he didn't want to walk in his sleep."

"I'm Finally Done Smoking My name was legally changed yesterday."

"What do you call a murder in the middle east? A hummus-cide"

"A girl tells her parents she's going to major in psychology ""Hey mom! Hey dad! I'm gonna study a real science! PSYCH!"""