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Joke of the Day

"I just met a dude with 12 nipples! I know, it scounds crazy, dozen tit"

"[text] I'm very hungry but I'm sick and tired of the food at my work! ;( Maybe I'll try bringing lunch from home?!"

"I can already hear the birds judging me for sleeping till noon tomorrow."

"*Husband using Ouija board after I've died* Please answer me *arrow moves* ""It's on the top shelf. Right there. RIGHT THERE! Use your eyes!"""

"What crime did the man get charged with when he killed a black man? Impersonating a police officer."

"Get out, RUN! That DM was coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE"

"The best part of waking up is when you say ""fuck it"" and go back to sleep."

"I tried to make friends at a midget convention by telling some jokes But all my material went over their heads."

"So I've had the runs for almost 4 days now... I told my dad and he looked me dead in the eyes and said. ""Son, it will pass""."

"What is worse than getting a wrong call at 3 AM in the morning? Getting a right call."