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Joke of the Day

"In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized."

"My father thinks himself an expert at cutting through busy sidewalks. I consider his ability rather pedestrian."

"still waiting to see a used car commercial that looks like they cared enough to do more than one take."

"Why did the bike fall down? It was two tired"

"New Show Magic Show Idea I'm going to start a magic show at a funeral home and call it Abra Cadavera Hour"

"A guy goes to the doctor because he wants to get a prescription for a laxative... After a few checks the doctor nods and says: ""yep, you're full of shit."" and hands him a prescription."

"Why don't dead people sneeze? Because they're too busy coffin."

"Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: No idea. I pretty much just zone out whenever I'm behind the wheel. Did anyone die?"

"Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag ? They can lighten your load !"

"The sweater you left is in the closet. just like you."