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Joke of the Day

"What is a pirate's favorite part of music theory? Arrrr-peggios!"

"Passenger: Does this bus go to London? Conductor: No. Passenger: But it says London on the front. Conductor: There's an advertisement for baked beans on the side but we don't sell them!"

"trump: ban muslims jeb bush: i disagree. just like dad would. who used to be president ben carson: how did spongebob make fire underwater"

"What kind of ant can count? An account*ant*."

"My teeth are so white, they adopted 14 kids."

"I'd love a video montage of every single time I've walked into a room and forgotten why I'm in there."

"My job sent me to a sexual harassment seminar last week... And now, I'm thinking I'm gonna be pretty good at it."

"How many handicapped guys does it take to change a light bulb? Just one if it's Professor X."

"Has anyone else's world ended yet? Mayan hasn't."

"My dad is my inspiration ...cause you never know when it's gonna hit you EDIT: missed a word"