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Joke of the Day

"How many Hillary Clinton supporters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They prefer to be left in the dark."

"How many clergymen does it take to screw a lightbulb? Amen."

"I pronounce CHampagne & CHandelier like CHimp so the lower class thinks I'm ""approachable"" & the upper class thinks I'm ""eclectic"""

"A day in the life of a dick A dick has a sad life. His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his next door neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy and his owner beats him on a daily basis."

"The city I live in had its annual incest competition. So I entered my sister."

"If you remove ET from the alphabet, how many letters are still there in the alphabet? 21, because ET left Earth in a UFO."

"A SQL Query walks into a bar It Drops by a Group of Tables and asks, ""can I Join you?"""

"Me: Nice flowers. Co-worker: They're from my boyfriend. Now I'm going to spend all weekend w/my legs in the air. Me: Don't you have a vase?"

"Yo mama's like a brick..... dirty, flat on both sides, and always getting laid by Mexicans."

"What do you call a blind deer? No Idea. (Hopefully you will get it, repeat twice if you have to) Edit: In case you don't get it, its No Eye Deer. [No Idea]"