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Joke of the Day

"So I was looking over a Jazz tune... My god...this song has more accidentals than an orphanage."

"Fuck a horse.... Enjoy a stable relationship"

"What did the socialist use before candles? Electricity."

"I act like Pacman at parties. I walk around the room eating everything in site and avoiding everyone."

"Oh my god, did you hear Bob Barker died? He was hit by a BRAAAANNDDD NEEEEWWWW CAAAAAARRRRR!"

"What's a lannister's favorite pop star? Katy Perry, because you're going hear her roar"

"Just one, actually. How many scientists does it take to build a time machine?"

"me: well I grew up without a dad and I turned out okay cw: don't u collect human teeth?? me: yeah but they're not my teeth"

"This ice cream is legen - wait for it - DAIRY."

"They said when pigs fly.. But the swine already flu"