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Joke of the Day

"All the problems fade before a hangover"

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"Why is wheat a hillbilly grain? X/post from r/funny Because its inbread"
"A blind man is tapping his way past the fish market. He stops, takes a deep breath and says, ""Good morning, ladies."""
"What do you say to Jennifer Anniston after she has been stabbed? So noone told you knife was gonna be this way?"
"A mosquito fell into my beer five minutes ago and now he's naked and calling his ex-girlfriends and drinking my beer"
"How do the Sith ascend? Elevaders"
"Here, take my advice. It's not like I'm using it..."
"Origami The World Origami Championships is today. Let's see how it unfolds."
"*4yo son, crying* I'm sorry! How was I supposed to know I wasn't supposed to cook the macaroni necklace? *sigh* Parenting is hard."
"Now I'm not saying pollution has hit dangerous levels in New Delhi, but all my friends there are celebrating Nausea November."