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Joke of the Day
"What do Mexican Zombies eat? Re-fried brains."
Next Joke
"How many Super Sayains does it take to change a light bulb? Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z!"
"What's the difference between an incomplete riddle?"
"[tweets about one side of an issue to my followers who all agree with me already] hell yes I'm making a difference"
"How do you make Obama's eyes light up? Shine a flashlight in his ears"
"Facebook has made me hate birthdays more than funerals."
"What did one cell say to his sister that stepped on his toe? Mitosis"
"I post stuff in the wrong sub-reddits. AMA wait... FUCK"
"This is the worst carnival ever. I can't believe they blocked the street off for this. Sir, this is a crime scene."
"What's Kylo Ren's Favorite Order of Chemical Reaction? A first order reaction"