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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an attractive person in a wheel chair? Hot wheels."

"I asked for your advice but now I'm angry with you because I don't like your advice."

"A recent study states that people should only shower every 3-4 days. ""Stop being an idiot,"" said one wife who lives in my house."

"I wrote a song about a coal digger having sex with a 15 year old. I call it 'A Miner in a Minor' in A minor."

"The pizza theorem: ""Pizzas must be circular. They must be cut into triangles and put into square boxes"" -Science"

"If a honey bee makes honey, what kind of bee makes milk? A boobie!"

"Ladies: We barely pay attention when you are speaking directly AT us. What makes you think we will pick up on a subtweet?"

"If I was a farmer the first thing I'd do is have a meeting with the roosters & cows & tell them to wake up around 9:30 instead of 5."

"Four 6 year old girls playing quietly at 7am is called a horde of elephants having a foot race."

"I like my women how I like my computer Broken, dead, and in the basement."