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Joke of the Day

"Q: What do blondes do after they comb their hair? A: They pull up their pants."

"Who uses a Rubik's Fleshlight? Incubators."

"""I was in a very generous mood today"" a woman says to her friend. ""I gave a poor beggar $25."" ""Thats a lot of money to give away"" says her friend. ""What did your husband say?"" ""He said 'Thank you'. """

"Me: Hello, is it me you're looking for? Her: no Me: *dials another number* Hello, is it me you're looking for?"

"Just so you know, I have an Epi pen... My friend gave it to me as he was dying. It seemed very important to him that I should have it."

"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An unoriginal joke"

"Friend: just make small talk *later, on date* Me: so...grains of sand Her: uh yea- Me: dwarves Her: are u okay- Me: bottle caps"

"What happened when the wheel was invented? It caused a revolution."

"Dark jokes are my favorite What the first thing you need to hide when the police is on the door and there's a pile of dead babies next to you? ... ... ... ... Your boner"

"Why don't Americans get knock knock jokes? FREEDOM RINGS"