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Joke of the Day
"I don't like paying for pizza because I hate making my pizza feel like a whore."
Next Joke
"I was looking at some fetish porn on my phone... I came upon it by accident."
"[pet store] Um hi can I have 4 turtles & 1 rat Clerk: hah trying to make ur own ninja turtles dude Me:*hiding miniature sai and katana* n no"
"The confused radioactive element So there was a radioactive element who was perpetually confused. One fine day, he was asked, ""what do you do?"". ""IDK""."
"The Drummer for Def Leppard's only got one arm. Chuck Norris needed a back scratcher."
"Daughter asked me she wants to feel like a princess so I forced her on a marriage with a man she's never met to secure our alliance with the French."
"I don't mind hopping on the bandwagon every once in a while, but seriously, it's 2010. Buy a fucking car already."
"Can't believe tomorrow is Take Your Alcohol to Work Day."
"Did you hear about the scarecrow that won a nobel prize? They said he was outstanding in his field"
"Your mum is so fat that when she entered an ugly contest they said, ""sorry mam, but no professionals."""