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Joke of the Day

"Whoever gets the gift from me that has scissors under the wrapping paper, I'm going to need those back."

Next Joke
 
"What do you call it when Batman leaves church early? Christian Bail Credit goes to my friendly local pizza guy"
"Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles? He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East."
"Profanity is the crutch of the inarticulate motherfucker."
"The Simpsons need to have an episode where Arsenal win the Champions League"
"When I'm sad I go to the fabric softener aisle of a store & imagine I'm in the clean mountains surrounded by blue sparkles and wild flowers."
"Love's a lot like a bullet in that the exit usually causes the most damage."
"My grandpa said that my generation relies too much on technology So I said ""No, your generation relies too much on technology."" And I unplugged his life support."
"you never gotta worry about me cheating on you... i might eat something that was yours but thats about it"
"What did Blackbeard say to the girl who was dressed as a sexy pirate for Halloween? ""Land Hoe!"""
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