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Joke of the Day
"If farmer A sells apples and farmer B sells bananas, what does farmer C sell? Medicine."
Next Joke
"The First Guy to Eat an Egg Person 1: ""Hey, dude. I'm gonna eat this!"" *Holds up egg* Person 2: ""What is it?"" Person 1: ""I don't know. I saw it come out of a chicken's butt."""
"Government shutdown day 7: Electricity still works. Water is still running. No cool gangs to join yet. Worst apocalypse ever."
"I keep burning food with my Presidential Debate microwave... I set it for 2 minutes but it never stops on time."
"What's easier to pick up the heavier it gets? A Woman"
"Did you hear about the two melons that are having trouble getting a divorce? The judge said they cantaloupe."
"Why do your in-laws become dangerous after a divorce? They become outlaws"
"It's Saturday night and I just saw a guy with a ponytail and tinted lenses. Somewhere, a tarantula is home alone"
"""Could you not joke about tragedies?"" my friend once said to me. Studies show that 9 out of 11 people find these kind of jokes to be offensive."
"""Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?"""