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Joke of the Day

"It's been a brutal heatwave with no respite, but things will finally cool off tomorrow and rain. I can't wait to complain about that."

"Alarming new research into the growing sleep epidemic Over 99% of people are now addicted to sleep, admitting they engage in sleep at least twice a week, most say they couldn't live without it"

"I wish I could play little league again. I'd be so much better now."

"Why is fishing dangerous? Sometimes, there's a catch"

"Ay' girl,is your dad a terrorist Cause you re da bomb"

"How many vegetarians does it take to eat a whole hotdog? Just one, with ten vegetarian hotdogs."

"I'll tell you what is bordering on the ridiculous... Canada."

"Whenever I start to disrobe in front of a lady; I always hand her a card that states ""A mild sense of Nausea is perfectly normal"""

"FIRST HUMAN BOY: I can lift a monster with one hand. SECOND HUMAN BOY: Bet you can't! FIRST HUMAN BOY: Find me a monster with one hand and I'll prove it."

"What do call a bad haircut you got from a Native American? A-patchy scalping Edit: Changed haircut to scalping. Because that's what I came up with this morning."