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Joke of the Day

"Didja hear an LGBT singer just came out with a cover of that Santana Grammy-winner from a few years back? It's called ""Brooth"""

"I'm not condescending! Try and count how many times I've been condescending! Exactly; you can't cause you're a dumbass."

"Cop: ""Do you know why I pulled you over?"" Me: ""OH NO THIS COP HAS AMNESIA!!!"""

"I sneezed and my bra unsnapped. I think this cold is trying to seduce me."

"a friend told me how electricity was measured and i was like watt"

"A man walks into a bar. By the way, I'm the guy who accidentally knocked over Usain Bolt. Sorry, I'm not good with segways."

"I asked Princess Leia why her and Han weren't going to make it... She said it is because ""Han shot first."""

"Mind: Does a flying dream sound good tonight? Me: Yea! Mind: Horrific shadow demon it is. Me: But I thought-? Mind: Don't worry, it can fly."

"What is a black person's least favourite breakfast! Pancake. K. K. ^^^(Pan-K-K-K)"

"I got everyone a pet snake for Christmas but you have to catch it, they're in my house, they're everywhere, please come get your snake."