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Joke of the Day

"Wife: ""Look. I haven't worn this in 8 years and it still fits."" Husband: ""For God's sake woman, it's a scarf!"""

"clutches my newly bought loaf of bread nervously as i walk past the duck pond"

"What's another word for knowing that you're right? Woman"

"What did they priest say when he got censered? Holy smoke!"

"Apparently my facebook friend, Ashley, has a cat suffering from a horrible hairball. I'll be spending the day praying for it like she asked."

"I once met an irritating man who upheld his family name. He was Hanoi-Ying."

"Why does a honeymoon only last 7 days? Because 7 days makes a hole weak"

"How did the redneck find the sheep in the tall grass? Satisfying."

"What did one hat say to another? You stay here, I'll go on a head!"

"What is literally the most important fact you'll ever learn, that will totally blow your mind? That people exaggerate."