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Joke of the Day

"What is literally the most important fact you'll ever learn, that will totally blow your mind? That people exaggerate."

"So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back... Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient."

"I just found out diarrhea is genetic... It runs in your genes."

"I washed my antibiotic pills down with a probiotic shake and now I'm back to square one."

"Muslims are boycotting Delta... Now making Delta the safest airline"

"Honesty is an important part of parenting. That being said, I'm going to tell my kids that McGruff the Crime Dog is a dog that loves crime."

"How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, but I have no idea how they get in there."

"The Middle East reminds me of that old joke about the optimist and the pessimist The pessimist says ""everything's terrible, it can't get any worse."" the optimist says ""oh yes it can."""

"I simply love my anti gravity machine.... It never lets me down."

"I slept with my best mate's wife last night and now I feel terrible. She must have given me a cold or something."