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Joke of the Day

"its ok to feel weird in the grocery store. you are surrounded by stuff that is going to move through strangers bodies"

"A faster than light neutrino! Knock Knock! Who's there? New. New who?"

"What did Chewy say after episode VII? I'm riding solo, I'm riding solo, I'm riding solo solo"

"Contrary to popular criticism, Hillary doesn't suck. If she does, Bill wouldn't have needed Monica."

"What's the difference between Botox and Borax? Two letters."

"I told my mom that the CIA was going to keep Osama Bin Laden's porn collection away from the public. She said, ""Who cares? It's probably just full of camels, anyway."""

"What do you call it when a pickle makes a mistake? A dill d'oh"

"Have you heard about the dyslexic satanist? Sold his soul to Santa."

"I bet if a soccer announcer sees a monster, he probably yells: ""GHOOOOUL!"""

"I accidentally took an extra step when I reached the top of the stairs and now I'm in a marching band."