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Joke of the Day

"The director of EA walks into a bar *Download the punchline for only 4.99* Edit: Thank you for the gold, kind Redditor!"

"Why did the guy kick the broom out of his house? It swept with his girlfriend :P"

"Barber: Were you wearing a red scarf when you came in? Customer: No. Barber: Oh dear! Then I must have cut your throat."

"Which punchline do you like better? What do you call a nun that sleep-walks? a) A Roamin' Catholic b) An unconscious habit"

"Two peanuts were walking through the bush... One was assaulted."

"How do you milk a sheep? Bring out a new iPhone."

"I have high blood pressure, but my dogs don't. So, from now on I'm only getting upset about squirrels and mailmen."

"What did the lightning bolt say to the old oak tree? -Hang onto your bark this will be no ordinary spark"

"How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who are you?"

"me: goodnight moon moon: i have a boyfriend"