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Joke of the Day

"My friend gave me his number and told me to hit him up. Now he's got two broken bones and a restraining order..."

"Why did (do?) cavemen drag their women by the hair? if the dragged them by their feet they'd fill up with mud."

"Less than 3% of the world's mantis population are atheists."

"Did you hear about the discounts at Darth Maul? I heard they're going to cut the sales by half"

"I saw a poster today, somebody was asking ""Have you seen my cat?"" So I called the number and said that I didn't. I like to help where I can."

"What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbit? ""You going to eat that?"""

"Who let the dogs out? Sansa Stark"

"How many skateboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in and one to film it. **Alternate Ending** One, but it takes him fifty tries."

"What the difference between a hippo and a zippo A hippo is heavy, but a zippo is a little lighter."

"What kind of currency do they use in space? http://i.imgur.com/vfZp1nP.jpg"