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Joke of the Day
"I needed a break from stupidity so I left work early."
Next Joke
"This cashier looked at my 12 bottles of weed spray so weirdly, I suspect she's never broken a lawnmower before."
"What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? I'll see you next month"
"Half of my Facebook friends are still there solely because their life is a train wreck and it's entertaining."
"Excuse me girlfriend for I have burped. It has been 3 weeks since my last apology"
"What do you use to wipe off a table after breakfast? A ragamuffin. Knew it was a dadjoke as soon as I saw my 9 year old roll his eyes."
"What did the silly boy take his bicycle to bed with him? Because he didn't want to walk in his sleep."
"My wife told me to stop my obsession of singing 'Wonderwall' I said maybe...."
"I've been digging through piles of fossils all day. No Homo."
"[Jr. Biology class, girls in jumpsuits burst in] OK, who's ready for fun? We're The Photosynthesisters & we're gonna talk 2 U about PLANTS!"