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Joke of the Day

"NPR is reporting terrorists are using twitter. I call bullshit. After logging on, most of us aren't motivated enough to get dressed"

"Did you hear about the man who hid in the refrigerator? He thought he would be cool."

"I'm just waiting for the right person to come along and mistake my crippling pessimism for an attractive sense of humor."

"Job interview... H- ""So how would you describe yourself?"" Me- ""Verbally but just incase I prepared a dance"".."

"Today, A 12 year-old came up to me and said ""May I please have a cigarette?"". I can't believe kids this age are already so polite."

"People, today, I met and chatted up a super-hot stripper at Walmart. Sorry, there's no punch line - I'm still too shocked to write one."

"The part of the Bible I relate to the most is when Jesus makes a scene at the farmers market"

"How does a road reply when you ask it how work is going? It's tiring."

"What element can you find in almost any shoe store? Heelium! I'll see myself out now..."

"Why does Beyonce say ""to the left, to the left""? Because black people have no rights."