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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the underwater snooker player? He was a pool shark!"

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? A stego-sore-ass"

"Women that date guys with bad grammar are the goodest."

"If King Kong went to Hong Kong to play ping-gong and died what would they put on his coffin? A lid."

"It is very wrong to ask a woman how much she weighs. (xpost from r/showerthoughts) Weight depends on the gravitational force of the planet you are on. You should ask her how massive she is."

"My girlfriend broke up with me over my obsession with linkin park. But in the end it doesn't even matter."

"I was recently asked if I'd judge Mr. gay UK. I said ''It wouId be my pIeasure. It's against nature, against God, and he's going to heII.'' - Jimmy Carr"

"Can I call you? Crush: Yes Errm, I called but you didn't pick Crush: I said you could call, I never said I'd pick up"

"Where do dogs shop for groceries? Wagmans."

"What do you call a snobby criminal walking down the stairs? A condescending con desending.."